Ever wondered what it takes to have a marriage made in heaven?.
An Extraordinary Marriage can occur when we understand the purpose of marriage. Marriage represents Christ and the church.
So that he may err, they came asking, “should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” Jesus replied. “Haven’t you read? From the beginning God made them male and female”. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united as one.
Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful”.
Matthew 19:3-9 NLT
The Bible does not commend divorce, except in the fate of unfaithfulness. Nevertheless, I have seen a family where the husband confessed after twenty-five years of marriage that he has been unfaithful to the wife. Did she divorce him? No, but she explained that it was the “hardest period” of her life. It was hard because she had to learn over and again how to forgive. She had to fight for her marriage. Lysa Terkeurst explained that why she stayed was because she was given a chance.
During an Interview with Christian Post she encouraged couples to “Never doubt we serve a God who still does miracles,” she wrote. “In the middle of the work He did from the devastation in my marriage nothing looked like I hoped and everything felt impossible. I prayed a million suggestions to God that never ever came to be. And the number of tears shed in the process about leaked the life out of me.
“I want to encourage those walking through really difficult marriage situations to know that redemption is possible,” she continued. “Maybe it’s going to come in a different package than mine. Redemption and restoration don’t always hold hands, and that relationship may not be restored, but with God, redemption is always possible.” She says.
To have an extraordinary marriage you have to be intentional
You have to know who you are getting married to. You don’t expect to meet a guy at the club and expect that overnight he will become a pastor. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers: For what fellowship hath righteousness and unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness. 2 Corinthians 6:14 You have no part in them. If your intending spouse is unsaved, continuing in the relationship and hoping that he or she changes as soon as you’re married is a nightmare.
Marriage does not change anyone.
Marriage cannot change your spouse. This is one of the mistakes I have seen in women who think that their abusing, always drunk boyfriend will change once he puts the ring on the finger or once they finally say I do. Can I share a secret with you? Marriage is actually a place where you can see the worst in someone. I’m sure you didn’t see that coming!
Marriage will expose your secrets, your shame and every sin that you are hiding. It wasn’t until I got married that I knew I was pretty bad at the way I responded to constructive criticism. It got worst that I will not speak to my husband for hours because he simply in his good heart corrected my actions. I was exposed, I defended myself every time I was criticized or told what to do. So, if you have the assumption that he will change when you get married, it is time to rethink.
To have an extraordinary marriage, you need to know how to go on your knees (Prayer)
Instead of complaining about what you don’t like in your marriage, it’s better to pray about it. When we work – we work, when we pray – God works. Understanding that God is the beginning and the end, that He was there from the creation of your marriage, is enough reason to give it back to him. Allow him to guide you. Pray that you will be able to trust him with all your heart and do not rely unto your own understanding.
God is always there. All he is asking of, is that you ASK (Ask Seek Knock).
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matt 7:7 .
You alone can control the thermostat in your home. You can make it hot or cold. The truth is that we can either be cold or hot we can’t be lukewarm.
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. Rev 3:15-17
To have an extraordinary Marriage, you need to be willing to make sacrifice
Sacrifice is only possible in an atmosphere of love. Just like Jesus gave (sacrificed) his life for us, we need to learn to sacrifice ourselves to our spouse. This is only possible when we know love. John 3:16 says that For God so loved the world that he gave his son Jesus to die for us. He loved and then he gave. The Bible commands that the husband must love the wife just as God loves the church and gave up himself for her. So, we need to always be in the place of giving, in the place of placing our spouse needs above ours.
We need to always look for ways to serve and be a blessing to each other. In the end, marriage is meant to make us better than we were, when we first got married. It is always a work in process and it takes intentionality, prayer and sacrifice which will help you love, respect and understand each other.
We are imperfect people in an imperfect world, who serve a perfect God that loves us more than we can imagine. Do not let anyone rob you off from enjoying the beautiful things that come with marriage! He created marriage and made it beautiful.
“Stop being Ordinary, choose to be Extraordinary” It takes a little extra (effort) to make it EXTRAORDINARY
I would like to hear from you. What are some steps you are taking to be more intentional to have an extraordinary marriage?
Chandy is a Wife and a Mom who Loves God and people. Love ❤️ Marriage blogger sharing lil bits of her life and hoping to inspire you. Chandy is passionate, creative and love ministering to women. Chandy is a certified relationship and marriage coach. She lives with her husband and three kids in Atlanta, GA