The lies men tell women to keep them in the wrong relationship.
So many women are currently in an abusive and painful relationship. The relationship now seems to be a contract for most single women, where if they refuse to do what their man says, they will threaten them with a break-up. Hence, they stay while enduring in hopes that it will lead to marriage. Often, ladies people look at how long they have (invested) in a relationship they decide that it is better to stay than to start all over. I get it. However, a relationship/Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
Sometimes, to lighten the worry and the confusion, you lie to yourself that everything will get better once you get married.
I want to outline four lies men tell women to keep them in the wrong relationship.
He Promised to Marry Me
So many women have sold their birthrights on the altar of “he’ll marry me.” Desperation makes one vulnerable. Once you have become desperate to marry, the first thing that happens is you will neglect your values. And guess what? Men will take advantage of your vulnerability and get you dancing to their tone at every opportunity they get.
My girlfriend: Chika, was approaching 30. Both societal and family pressure on her made her desperate for marriage. Chika, even at 29, was still a virgin. Lots of persons told her she would never get married because she was still a virgin.
Out of frustration and desperation to get married, she yielded to David’s plea. David has been on her neck for the past eleven months, but she said no.
Now, David promised to marry her if only she would give in to his request. Because Chika wanted to get married soon, she gave in. David deflowered her; they got into a relationship. Now it’s been three years of their relationship, David hasn’t proposed to her yet. She’s finding it difficult to let go of David with the fear of not finding someone else who will marry her.
Any guy who will make you despise your values, just in a bid to marry you, doesn’t worth you. If an attempt to get married to him, you will discover that you have become a shadow of yourself. The right person will come and will cherish you for who you are.
Lies men tell women to keep them in the wrong relationship.
He will Change
Another reason why some ladies get trapped in a ‘soured’ relationship is the belief that “He will change.” You get into a relationship, and just in two weeks of getting to know each other, ” He abuses you physically and even emotionally. You have every right and opportunity to walk away, yet he confuses you with words like: “I don’t know what usually comes over me, please baby, give me a little time, I will change.”
If he doesn’t change now while you are in that relationship, the chances are that he will not change when you get married. Marriage does not change anyone.
He Woos you with Money.
Many men no longer regard women because most ladies have reduced their worth just because of money.
Some of us ladies are so greedy that one can marry a beast just for his money. Some have abandoned their loving boyfriends and husbands just for one rich ‘Chimp.’ I’m not disputing that money is necessary for relationship and marriage. The money adds beauty to a relationship/ marriage. Money makes love sweeter. But dear, NEVER marry a man only because of money.
A guy who tries to woo you only with his money will also woo another woman with money. Get to love him for who he is, not just because of what he has. What if you marry him for his money, then when you get into marriage, he loses his job, what will you do? Will you divorce him and find another rich guy?
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“God created you to be a helper.” It doesn’t mean you should go in search of a poor man. No, but you should look beyond the money and love him for who he is. Don’t become so materialistic that you place money or material things as your number one priority in choosing a partner. Don’t make yourself a liability.
Be an asset that even when you meet a rich man, you make him more precious, not a liability that will impoverish a rich man.
Lies men tell women to keep them in the wrong relationship.
Sex as a Prove of Love for Him
This particular one has driven many of our young ones crazy. There is sex everywhere. See, darling, the earlier you get this, the better for you. Sex is not proof of love. A guy who doesn’t love you can have sex with you, and it won’t make him love you either.
If sex were an authentic taste of love, those you call prostitutes would have several true lovers.
The quest for sex in our generation has gone rampant that even young teenagers of 13 are seeking sex. And you say sex is love? Any man who tells you to prove your love for him by giving him sex will still speak to another lady the same thing when you are not around, and he needs to satisfy himself.
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Even sex dolls satisfy men sexually, now if sex is a taste of true love, does it mean those men are in love with toys?
Don’t let the popular opinion of people blind you from the truth.
Now, what does God’s word say about this? In the old testament: “You must not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and thus defile yourself with her.” (Leviticus 18:20).
And in the new testament, Paul said: “All should honor marriage, and the bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterers and the sexually immoral” Heb 13:4(NIV).
You already have the nature of Christ in us, for you are born of God. Hence you do not walk in the flesh.
We are not of the world; we are of God. The opinion of our heavenly father matters more than the idea of the world.
Let me end with this: “There is no need for finishing the honey before the honeymoon.”
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Blessing Chibuike (Blessed Pen) is a skilled and outstanding story teller and content creator. She creates contents for business and personal brand, blog, events, social media posts and websites
She is a servant of Christ, life healer and founder of Whole Life Foundation
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