5 Ways to Put the Spark Back in your Relationship

5 Ways to Put the Spark Back in your Relationship.

Marriage is a scam! Yeah, are you surprised I said that, right? Well, before you come criticizing me, ensure you must have read to the end to see why I said that. 

Rita and Tony got married two years ago. The love they had for each other was out of this world. You know even married people envied them. Tony, a Chemical Engineer, had met beautiful Rita four(4) years ago in the hospital. While driving, he had an accident that nearly took his life; for six(6) months, he was in a wheelchair. Out of frustration and fear of not walking again, he wanted to end his life, not until he set his eyes on Rita.

A slim, relatively tall, dark, and comely lady, whose nose stood almost at ninety degrees to her pretty face, walked in as a nurse. That was the end of his quest for death and resentment towards God for letting him sit in a wheelchair. The love, attention, smile Rita gave him made him fall deeply in love with her. Well, you can say it’s love at first sight,  but that love led them to marry each other after two years. Now,  he’s no longer on wheels, and they have married. He was so proud of having Rita as his wife. They were lost in the world of ecstasy that they couldn’t see anyone else.

However,  eight(8) months into the Marriage, the novelty, the euphoria of being in love began wearing out. They started having issues that almost led them to divorce before they met Winnie: Rita’s teacher in college. Rita always wanted to talk and complain but never gave him room to express himself. He needed an ear to listen to him as well, but his darling wife had become garrulous, which led him to hang out with the boys at the club because he could express himself whenever he’s with them. He would laugh and become better.

He wasn’t honest enough to tell her how she hurt him by not listening. He just hid his annoyance until it compounded, and he wouldn’t want to communicate with her anymore. Rita was so depressed about how Tony wouldn’t ever listen to her that she thought the only way to get his attention was to starve him. They were going to divorce in a month when Winnie found Rita lost in thought during the sermon on Sunday.

After the sermon that day,  Winnie had asked that they have lunch that afternoon. Rita couldn’t hide it anymore; she just burst into tears and complained bitterly.

She said to Winnie: “Marriage is a scam; I regret ever getting married, aunty Winnie… “

“I understand, dear Rita…”

Rita didn’t let her finish,  “no, aunty, you don’t understand, not when your marriage is blossoming, you have an understanding husband, wish my husband was 50% as good as yours…” “Now, you are getting it all wrong, Rita. My Marriage was worse than yours in our second year.” Immediately Rita heard that she stopped talking and stared at her like she was joking. Yes, Rita, it was worse than yours.

We had a distortion in our communication. “But let me ask you this before I continue. Was Tony like this when you met him four years ago? ” Rita thought for a while and said, “No,  he wasn’t. He just changed suddenly; he’s not the man I fell in love with at St Joseph’s Hospital. ” “Good, that’s what I wanted to hear. Go and bring back those things that attracted and made you fall for each other.” Winnie told her. “Aunty Winnie, it’s not my fault; it’s his fault; Tony doesn’t love me anymore ” “Yes because you no longer give him reasons to love you. He still loves you, if only you will play your cards well. He’ll come after you again, and you will become new lovers.

“Aunty Winnie, how?  Will that ever happen? We should be divorcing in a month. Once our lawyer returns from his trip, we will divorce.” “Do you want the divorce, Rita? ” No, aunty Rita, I don’t want it; I love Tony,  I want him back.” “If you’re sure you want him back, now listen to me.

There are five(5) things you will need to do, and in the next few weeks, Tony will come hunting for you.

5 Ways to Put the Spark Back in your Relationship

First, Listen when he speaks.

Don’t always be the one talking. Lend Tony a listening ear too.  Sometimes, he wants to tell you how he feels, he wants to pour out his heart to his lover, but if you are always the one talking, you will drive him away from you. Do you understand Rita? ” “Yes, aunty, I’m guilty of this. Is that the reason he started partying with the boys? ” “Exactly, because he needs to talk to someone. Don’t drive him away to another woman who will listen to him talk. Once you have given him a listening ear, he will become honest with you.

The second thing that improves communication in a relationship is

Be Honest

 

If both of you can listen to each other talk, don’t hesitate to be honest with each other. Be truthful with yourself, not regarding how petty the matters may be. Just be honest.  Tell Tony everything, and he will have no other option than to tell you everything too. Thirdly,

Discuss your Problems

Lack of communication does not happen in a day.  If you let your problems stay closed up in a box,  then they will pile up, and communicating with your partner will become even more difficult.

Importantly,

You Must Compliment and Respect each other

The book of Ephesians 5:33 said: “however, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Respect him,  let him feel respected, and watch out; he won’t have any reason to love you less.

Always compliment each other. Whatever Tony does, no matter how little, tell him he is fantastic.  Tell him he looks good. It’s not only the men’s duty to compliment their women; learn to praise your man too. When you do this, he won’t have any reason to stay away from you.

Finally, on this note,

Be Grateful for your Love

You have to appreciate his love always. From time to time, call him to thank him for being your husband.

It’s not just his duty; it’s also your duty too. When you go to work, send him a romantic message, appreciating him for his love. See,  when you do this, even if he hasn’t been showing you love,  he will feel guilty and start doing what he’s supposed to do. When I learned to appreciate Josh, it helped me in my relationship with him. Josh told me that he had found his lost lover. You envy my Marriage today, thinking we never had issues. It got to a point, Josh left the house for me for one full week,  but today we are the best couple ever, you may say.

If you can apply this too in your relationship, Rita, you will never say, “Marriage is a curse,” Marriage is a blessing, my darling.

Winnie concluded and hugged her as they prayed and ate together.

Rita couldn’t finish the food with her; she ran home to see Tony because Rita has realized how much she missed him and how her marriage would have been ruined; she couldn’t just wait to ignite love again in their home. Winnie smiled as she left and muttered some grateful words to Jesus for restoring another marriage.

This is Rita’s story; if her relationship, which is almost ruined, can be revived, yours can be better.

The importance of communication can’t be overemphasized in our relationship; at all costs, communicate with your partner.

Stay Blessed.

Submitted by Blessing Chibuike- @Blessed Pen