6 Reasons Women Marry Wrongly

A woman desperate for marriage can indeed marry anyone just to be married. When it comes to the choice of marriage, totally defeat desperation, open your eyes, and wisely walk into marriage.

In my final year in school, I met this girl who was desperate for marriage. As we walked past the Law faculty, she said bitterly, “any guy who comes my way now and proposes, I will just say yes to him.” I was shocked to hear her speak like that. She continued, “all my mates are married; why can’t I? “

Later, I met another lady, who was fasting and praying, that a guy will say hello to her. She said, “look Bless; whether the devil likes it or not, I must marry this year.”. So I asked, “why”? “All my friends have all married.” My female friends in school are all married. Besides, I don’t want to return to my father’s house without a man; I’m tired of him not respecting me, as he respects my sisters who are already married “that was her reply. 

I asked again,” is that all the reasons why you want to get married? ” She said, “Bless, I want to be happy. I need to settle down; I want a man that will make me happy.” So I asked, “so you are not happy being single?” 

She laughed, saying that I won’t understand what it feels like being single when all your friends are married.

Then she dropped a bomb that made me shout unconsciously. She said, “if I don’t marry now, who would be my maid of honor, who would be my bride’s maids? when all my friends all get married.” “Jeez, are you ok? So you want to marry because of bridesmaids?  You wanna marry because you wanna be happy?” I asked her.

Then I asked her, “if you marry now, what can you contribute to your husband’s life?” She kept quiet.

“What impact would you make in your children’s life? She kept quiet.

“How would you assist your husband? “

She said it’s not her role to assist her husband; her husband is supposed to take care of her and her family.

To cut a long story short, she ended by stating that her only role is to satisfy her husband sexually and give birth to children; as for cooking, though she can’t cook, her husband will eat her food like that since he has no other option. I wept bitterly.

Here are some reasons why women marry wrongly.

(1) Desperation

This idiosyncrasy of getting married immediately after college has made many young girls so desperate. Desperation brings about vulnerability. A woman desperate for marriage can indeed marry anyone just to be married. When it comes to the choice of marriage, totally defeat desperation, open your eyes, and wisely walk into marriage.

(2) The fear of marrying late

To marry young and early, lots of women marry purposelessly. I am not against “early” marriage -immediately after school or even before finishing school, no, not at all. The bible said: Look in the scroll of the LORD and read: None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together. Isaiah 34:16

When the purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable. ~Myles Munroe.

When you don’t know why something exists, you will abuse it because it is not being utilized or consumed in the way it was designed or created. When you fail to understand why you are getting married, you run the chance of getting whatever you see. Do you think if you miss that guy now, you may never marry again? Next time when the fear of marrying late or remaining single occurs to you, look straight into the eye of the doubt, and tell it, “my bible said: I can’t lack my mate.” Now, when you say this, smile and build yourself; your Mr. Right will connect with you soon.

(3) Marriage is the greatest achievement

Most women think that marriage is the highest achievement anyone can get. Marriage has been overrated so much that lots of persons outside marriage have nothing. You go to school all to be married? You learn a trade so that you could marry? Everything you do is so that you could get married. That’s a wrong mindset. Why would you, as a lady, think marriage is just the climax of your career? After marriage, there is nothing more than to sit down and raise children. Train yourself to become better in such a way that you benefit from your growth, too, not just for your spouse. When you become the best version of yourself, you will make anyone who comes around you alluring.

(4) No life

If the most important thing that can happen to a woman is getting married, then there is no need for women to go to school. Mothers should have taught their daughters how to cook, have sex, and raise children, but you go to school to be useful to yourself, family, and society.

Get a spiritual life, financial life, emotional life, healthy life, physical life. When you don’t have a life of your own, you will marry wrongly. No responsible man will want to marry a woman without experience. Every responsible man seeks an asset, a smart woman with life who will support him. The bible calls you” a helpmeet,” which means you already have experience. You are capable of helping your spouse. So, pick up your broken pieces, fix them up, get a life, and watch how lovable you’ll become.

(5) Quest for happiness

If you can’t be happy as a single lady, there is no guarantee that you would be happy as a married woman. If you are not respected as a single lady, there is no guarantee you will be regarded as a married woman because it’s still the same as you are getting married.

Your happiness lies within you: the God in you. One of the fruits of the Spirit is joy and peace. If God dwells in you, you will have no other choice than to be continuously joyful and happy.

Marriage cannot make anyone happier who does not bring the ingredients for happiness into it. Sydney J Harris.

Redirect your focus to God; He is the real source of joy and happiness.

(6) Idleness

You graduated from the college with a first-class result, only to end up as a full-time housewife, whose job is to cook, have sex and reproduce, nothing more. My dear, you shouldn’t have been to school in the first place, 

I once heard a young girl say to me: “I don’t want to suffer again, I have suffered enough, I can’t marry a man who does not have an estate of his own, at least two cars, etc., a man who cannot propose to me with a car key” What an illusion!  So I asked her, “You’ve got a nice dream girl, there is nobody who doesn’t like good things, but if I may ask, what are you doing now?” She said, “I don’t understand, “I said, “what are you doing to win the attention of such a man? 

She was mute, then said, “I dress hot, makeup so well that when he passes by, he can’t resist my charm.” Unfortunately, a lot of women think like this.

While you wait for Mr. Right, please get a job, acquire a skill, or start a business. You can also read books that will educate and improve you. Never stay idle. Proverbs 16:27 reminds us Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; empty lips are his mouthpiece.

Ladies, if only you knew your worth, you would sit up and think of something reasonable to do with your life.

If you marry that rich guy of your dream and have nothing to offer, nothing, no single idea,

You might lose him to another woman when he requires assistance, and you cant help.

There is a great virtue hidden in you, your family, children, husband, society, need that virtue, don’t bury it, use it, now and even after marriage. Make yourself proud and the man whom God has given you satisfied and happy.

You know, things changes when our mindset change. My mindset changed about marriage when I understood what the bible says in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I learned that I am already a wife, so I do not have to wait until I am married to be one because I am the Bride of Christ -married to him. 2 Corinthians 11:2 “I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him”.

Besides, I do not have to go around looking for my husband because I am a “good thing” that should be found, and once found, I will give him (my husband ) favor.

You see you as an asset, not a liability. 

Stop panicking if someone will marry you. If you let that guy playing with your destiny go, you would find a man who deserves you and would cherish you. You are a treasure.

It hurts me when I see young girls being desperate for marriage; you have more to offer to your world. Don’t bury your gifts and go to the grave empty.

Your generation is waiting for you.

Yours truly,

Blessing Chibuike(Blessed Pen)