Is He The One? 3 Signs to look for

What are the signs to look for in a man to determine if he is the one to marry?

Before I met my husband, I had listed in my journal, some qualities I wanted in a man. I will go back to my list after every date with a guy to check off the listed qualities and to see if their values aligned with my list.

So when I learned about my husband, I did not doubt that he was the one because I saw a man of God and a leader. We didn’t meet in the typically traditional way that should warrant love at first sight; I always referred to it as “Love at First Chat.” Our meeting was orchestrated by God, basically with the help of a mutual family friend. 

Eventually, my husband summoned the courage (he got a confirmation from God) to send an email to me after having known about me for three months before or thereabout. I was oblivious to his having to make inquiries about me and all. At this time, we lived thousands of miles from each other. I lived in the States while he resided in Nigeria. We started chatting via mail and then calls followed. Below are three signs I looked for before saying I do, which I hope will be helpful to you too. 


The first time we finally spoke on the phone, we were talking about purpose, and we found out that our goals aligned with each other. We both loved Jesus and would like to share Jesus with others.

Physical Attraction

I was attracted to him physically. It is not quite ideal to marry someone who you are not physically attracted to or someone who you may not be proud to show off. However, in my case, I didn’t get to meet my husband until after I agreed to marry him. Very hilarious as I think through it. I had already decided that I will marry him without meeting him. Faith, coupled with the connection through the phone and chats did it for me.


I remember when I went to my pastor to tell him about my husband before I traveled to meet him for the first time. He asked me a question, “How did you know he is the one?” At that time, I didn’t have ready, all that proved he should be my husband and why I had agreed to marry him. I asked my pastor if I needed to wait to hear from God.

It’s incredible to meet those who will come to you to say, “Oh! God said you are my wife!” or when you pray, you ask God to give you a sign that will happen to serve as a confirmation to what he wants you to do. Such was not the case for me. However, I confirmed through my pastor that having the peace and conviction that I could marry him for the rest of my life, was one of the signs I needed. I rested on that. 

Marriage decision isn’t made on a foundation of trial and error; marriage is a lifetime commitment. 

You have to understand that before you can accept a proposal from a man, you need to be sure that you can trust him to be the leader of your home and you are willing to let him lead. If you feel an inward agitation towards him taking that role, he is probably not the one. 

The Holy Spirit will minister it to you. “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” John 16:13

Marriage is not a bed of roses. It takes work. During the first years of my marriage, my husband and I had a lot of clashes; we could not understand each other better.

However, we learned to take the wrong, and to give each other grace; we have been able to become better individuals as well as better couples together. I believe that growth has been a crucial element in our journey. I am thankful to God for that.

Your marriage shall be a heaven on earth. Identify your purpose of coming together, and take it from there.


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