Stop Playing the Blame game and take responsibility for your actions in your relationships.
There is always an instinct to defend ourselves and not play the victim. It didn’t start with us. The world is in a mess we are today because of the blame game, and nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions. We instead choose to argue and disagree with starting up a fight. It’s not only in politics; various countries around us have traced it down to our homes.
I want you to think about this, where was Adam when Eve was having a conversation with Satan? Was Adam away from the garden?
Let’s consider the origin of this blame game. In Genesis chapter 3, when the devil started the conversation, he was addressing Adam and Eve. Eve just happened to be the spokesperson instead of Adam; Adam did not say a word, but he enjoyed the conversation. There were times when we have played a “silent mode” role in situations; however, when it is time to take responsibility for the part we played, we become diplomatic.
At the early stage of my marriage, I played the blame game. I was always exonerating myself from situations to be Mr right at all times. The simple truth is that I’m not perfect, so why should I expect my wife to be “perfect.” The good teams that we see and appreciate are always a good coach who understands how to encourage respect and allow everybody to contribute and learn.
As a husband, it’s my responsibility to ensure that my family is doing well. This act of being right and making my wife be the victim at all times did not help me in any way. Instead, it put me in awful situations.
I had to learn to give my wife the room or grace to grow. I had to stop loving conditionally or withholding my love when I’m angry with my wife.
One problem we have in our relationships is that we assume that we are perfect, and we expect our partners to be perfect.
Remember, as I’ve always said in the past, it does not mean that you should not take necessary measures to ensure your life and health are not jeopardized if you are in a toxic relationship.
Relationships grow and thrive when we learn to give grace and help each other learn and grow.
Correction is not is always the problem, but the way we go about it can result in strive. There is a difference between complaining and constructive correction.
Here are some truths I will like to point out to you.
1. You are not perfect
2. Your partner is not perfect
3. Mistakes will always happen
Tips that will help you to stop playing the blame game
1. Always pray for your spouse in the area of their weaknesses
2. When there’s a reason to blame your spouse, remember to take a deep breath.
3. Watch what you say or keep quiet.
4. Remember that you’re not perfect.
5. Create time to discuss what may have done wrong.
6. As you correct, please focus on the solution not to magnify his or her mistakes.
7. Observe your spouse as you correct them and be willing to help them recover from guilt.
8. Find something good about your spouse and appreciate them.
If you are dealing with a blaming (complaining) spouse who finds every chance to be defensive or pass the blame, I encourage you to trust in the Lord. I understand that this could be a challenging place to be; however, the Holy Spirit will help you know the right words to use as you continue to grow to become a better follower of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
He has not called us to live our lives by ourselves, so I encourage you to trust the Lord. He will not only change the circumstances, but He will break you through the difficulties you may face. Become a solution, not a problem revealer.
Christian and father to 3 lovely kids and a friend to many! Relationship Coach/Christian Marriage Counsellor
Loves Ping pong/ Table Tennis
Motivation Speaker- if God puts a word in his heart he is speaking it!
Love meeting people and very fun to be around! He is a dangerous main fielder in soccer game, he love to help people realize their God given dreams.